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Apostrophes: It’s Easy When You Know How

If only we didn’t have to worry about apostrophes, writing would be so much easier, some would say. For me, that would take all the fun out of writing because I personally love the challenge of using apostrophes to make sense of what I’m trying to convey to the reader.

I was shocked to receive an email the other day from a mother whose daughter’s English homework had been incorrectly “marked” by her school teacher. The mother wrote to me to confirm that what her daughter had written was, in fact, correct. The girl had written “the dog gave the ball to its owner” but the teacher had corrected it to “the dog gave the ball to its owner”. What the professor’s sentence says is: “the dog gave the ball to its owner”, which is clearly nonsense. The only time you need to put an apostrophe in the word “his” is when it’s short for “it’s” or “he has”. Frankly, I was appalled that an English teacher made such a mistake. The girl’s version, “the dog gave the ball to its owner” is correct because the word “his” (without an apostrophe) is the equivalent of “his, her, our, my, your, their” – “his ” is the version it means to belong to, or be associated with, a thing or person/animal of indeterminate gender.

Anyone, even an English teacher, could be forgiven for making a one-time mistake, but apparently that wasn’t the only correction he made. The girl had also written “Buy your cucumbers and lettuces here”, which the teacher had corrected to “Buy your cucumbers and lettuces here”. The teacher had inserted apostrophes in what are simple plural nouns, ie “cucumbers and lettuces”, which the girl had spelled correctly. Plurals must not have apostrophes. The insertion of an apostrophe in words such as “tomatoes, potatoes, cucumbers and lettuces” is known, although perhaps disrespectfully, as the greengrocer’s apostrophe. I suspect we’ve all seen “tomatoes and potatoes” outside a greengrocer’s store.

There is, of course, an exception to this rule which is when you write, for example, “Mind your p’s and q’s”. If you were to write “Mind your Ps and Qs” you would not need to insert apostrophes – they are only needed in the previous version to clarify the meaning because without them it would read “Mind your ps and qs “, which would be confusing for the reader.

I must say that when I read this mother’s email, it made me fear for the education of our children, but fortunately there are those who are willing to question the so-called experts.

For more help on apostrophe rules and how to use apostrophes correctly, click here – Apostrophes.

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